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ARYAN FRONT FORUMS
(PRO-WHITE COMMUNITY)
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Dave NYC
Administrator
Joined: 01 Jun 2005
Posts: 3081
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 Posted: Fri Jun 03, 2005 6:21 am Post subject: Ethnic Jokes (Warning, Some Jokes Are Graphic) |
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What's the difference between dog shit and niggers?
When dog shit gets old it turns White and quits stinking.
What's the difference between a nigger and a snow tire?
A snow tire doesn't sing when you put chains on it.
What would you call the Flintstones if they were black?
Niggers.
Why don't sharks eat niggers?
They think it's whale shit.
What do you call a nigger in a tree with a briefcase?
Branch manager.
How come there aren't any Mexicans on Star Trek?
They don't work in the future, either.
Why do niggers cry during sex?
The Mace.
How do you stop a nigger from drowning?
Take your foot off the back of his head.
How do you get a nigger out of a tree?
Cut the rope.
What did the Alabama sherriff call the nigger who had been shot 15 times?
Worst case of suicide he had ever seen.
What do you get when you cross a retard with a gang banger?
Someone who spray paints on a chain link fence.
Why do niggers stink?
So blind people can hate them too.
What do you get when you cross a nigger and a spic?
Someone too lazy to steal.
Why don't niggers take aspirin?
They refuse to pick the cotton out.
What do nigger kids get for Christmas?
Your bike.
What's a niggers idea of foreplay?
"Don't scream or I'll cut you, bitch."
Why do spics drive low-riders?
So they can cruise and pick lettuce at the same time.
What do you get when you cross a jew and a gypsy?
A chain of empty retail stores.
Why don't nigger kids play in the sandbox?
Cats keep covering them up.
What do you call an apartment full of niggers?
A COON-dominium.
Why are there no nigger astronauts?
Their lips explode at 50,000 feet.
How do you babysit a niglet?
Wet his lips and stick him to the wall.
How do you get him down?
Teach him to say "Motherfucker."
How else do you babysit a niglet?
Put Velcro on the ceiling and tell him to jump.
How do you get him down?
Invite the spics over, blindfold them and tell them it's a pi?ata party.
Why do jews have big noses?
Air is free.
What is a nigger on a bike?
Thief.
What's long and black and smells like shit?
The welfare line.
What do you call 50 niggers at the bottom of the ocean?
Good start.
What is the worst 3 years of a niggers life?
First grade.
How was break dancing invented?
Niggers trying to steal hubcaps from moving cars.
Why do niggers keep chickens in their back yards?
To teach their kids how to walk.
How do you know Adam and Eve were not black?
You ever try to take a rib from a nigger?
What is a nigger?
Proof that skunks fuck monkeys.
What's the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead nigger in the road?
The dead dog has skid marks in front of it.
What did Abe Lincoln say after a 3 day drunk?
"I set WHO free?"
Why are chimps always frowning?
They know in a million years they are going to turn into niggers.
Why is interrogating a Mexican like a pool ball?
The harder you hit it the more English you get.
How many jews can you fit in a VolksWagon?
All of them if you put them in the ashtray.
A nigger and a spic jump off the Empire State Building, who hits the ground first?
Who cares.
A nigger and a spic jump off the Empire State Building, who hits the ground first?
The spic, because the nigger had to stop on the way down and spray paint "motherfucker" on the wall.
Why don't spics have barbeques?
The beans keep falling through the grill.
You hear about the new car made in Israel?
Not only can it stop on a dime, it will go back and pick it up.
What do you call an Ethiopian with a pickle on his head?
A quarter-pounder.
Note:
Please ignore any double posts
Last edited by Dave NYC on Wed Nov 12, 2008 5:37 pm; edited 2 times in total |
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Dave NYC
Administrator
Joined: 01 Jun 2005
Posts: 3081
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| Posted: Fri Jun 03, 2005 6:22 am Post subject: |
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How many Ethiopians can you fit in a phone booth?
All of them.
How do you start a foot race in Ethiopia?
Roll a doughnut down the street.
How many niggers does it take to pave a driveway?
One if you spread him real thin.
How do you blindfold a chink?
Dental floss.
How do chinks name their kids?
They throw silverware down the stairs.
What's the difference between a nigger and a bag of shit?
The bag.
What's the most confusing day in Harlem?
Father's Day.
When does a Black man turn into a nigger?
As soon as he leaves the room.
What do you call a nigger with a Harvard education?
Nigger.
What do you call a nigger in a courtroom in a 3 piece suit?
The defendant.
There is a nigger and a spic in a car, who's driving?
The cop.
Why is Stevie Wonder always smiling?
He doesn't know he's black.
How long does it take a nigger bitch to take a shit?
9 months.
Why don't nigger women wear panties to picnics?
To keep the flies off the chicken.
Why does Alabama have niggers and California have earthquakes?
California got first pick.
Why do Mexican cars have those little steering wheels?
So they can drive handcuffed.
Why are niggers like sperm?
Only one in a million actually work.
What do you call Mike Tyson with no arms?
Niger nigger nigger.
How do you fit 100 Cubans in a shoe box?
Tell them its a raft.
Why do police dogs lick their ass?
To get the taste of nigger out of their mouth.
What can a pizza do that a nigger can't?
Feed a family of four.
Why did the nigger carry a piece of shit in his wallet?
I.D.
What is red green yellow orange purple and pink?
A nigger dressed for church.
Why do niggers have flat noses?
That's where god put his feet when he was pulling off their tails.
Did you hear that the KKK bought the movie rights to Roots?
They're going to play it backwards so it has a happy ending.
What is the difference between a white owl and a black owl?
A white owl goes, "Who, who," a black owl goes, "Who dat? Who dat?"
Did you hear about the new Black Barbie?
It comes with 12 kids, AIDS and a welfare check.
What is black, white, and rolls off the end of the pier?
A nigger and a seagull fighting over a chicken wing.
What do you get when you cross a nigger with a gorilla?
A dumb gorilla.
What is the difference between Batman and a black man?
Batman can go out at night without Robin.
Did you hear about the new Chap Stick for niggers?
It comes in a spray can.
What's the difference between niggers and pit-bulls?
It's still legal to own a pit-bull.
What do you say to a black man in uniform?
"I'll have a Big Mac with cheese and a coke."
Why do niggers walk the way they do?
Because they spent the first nine months of their lives dodging a coat hanger.
What happened when the Ethiopian fell in the crocodile pit?
He ate six crocs before they could pull him out.
Why do niggers call white people "honkies"?
That's the last sound they hear before the white people run them over.
How do you stop a nigger from going out?
Pour more gas on him.
Did you hear about the nigger with insomnia?
He kept waking up twice a week.
What do you do if you run over a nigger?
Reverse.
Why do decent white folks shop at nigger yard sales?
To get all their stuff back.
Who were the three most famous women in black history?
Aunt Jemima, Diana Ross, and Mother ****er!
Hear about the new bumper sticker that says "Run, Jesse, Run"?
You put it on the front of your car.
What do Stevie Wonder and Ray Charles have in common?
They're both niggers.
How come Stevie Wonder & Ray Charles can't read?
They're both niggers.
Why do niggers wear wide-brimmed hats?
So pigeons can't shit on their lips.
Why did so many nigger soldiers get killed in Vietnam?
Every time someone yelled "Get down!" the niggers would jump up and start dancing.
What do you get when you cross a nigger with a Vietnamese?
Nothing. There are some things even a Vietnamese won't do.
What's black and tan and looks good on a nigger?
A Doberman Pinscher.
What's the fastest animal in the world?
The Ethiopian chicken.
Did you hear about Evel Knieval's new motorcycle stunt?
He's going to ride through Ethiopia with a sandwich tied to his back.
Did you hear about Ku Klux Knieval?
He tried to jump 50 niggers with a steam roller.
Why was golf invented?
So white people get a chance to dress like niggers.
What do you do if you see a nigger with half a head?
Stop laughing and reload.
Why did god create orgasms?
So niggers know when to stop.
Why did god give niggers rhythm?
Because he ****ed up their hair, nose and lips.
Why are so many niggers moving to Detroit?
They heard there were no jobs there.
Why can't nigger women become nuns?
Because they can't get used to saying 'superior' after 'Mother'.
How do you fit 15 niggers in the back of a Cadillac?
Don't worry, they'll figure it out.
What's yellow and black and makes you laugh ?
A bus full of niggers going over a cliff.
How do you stop a nigger from drowning?
You don't.
Whats the differance between Afghanistan and Christmas?
Christmas will be here this year.
Whats blue and hangs in my front yard?
My nigger I can paint him whatever color I want.
Why do seagulls have wings?
To beat the niggers to the dump.
What's a crying shame?
When a bus full of niggers drives off a cliff and there were 3 empty seats.
What do you call an Ethiopian with a feather up his ass?
A dart.
Why did the Jews wander in the desert for 40 years?
Because one of them lost a quarter.
What does N.A.A.C.P stand for?
Niggers Are Always Causing Problems
How many spics does it take to have a bath?
Five, one to lie in the tub and four to spit on him.
What do a nigger and an apple have in common?
They both look good hanging from a tree.
Why are niggers always buried 12 feet deep?
Deep down they're good people.
What's the difference between a porch monkey and a yard ape?
The length of the chain.
What's black, orange, and very pretty?
A nigger on fire.
What do you have if you've got a nigger up to his neck in cement?
Not enough cement.
How was copper wire invented?
Two jews fighting over a penny.
How do you starve a nigger?
Hide his welfare check under his work boots.
How do you get 12 niggers in a Volkswagen?
Throw in a welfare check.
How do you get them out?
Throw in a job application.
Why are there trees in Harlem?
Public transportation.
How does a black woman fight crime?
She has an abortion.
What do you say when you see your T.V. floating around at night?
"Drop it nigger."
What happened when the nigger looked up his family tree?
A gorilla shit on his face.
Why don't niggers like blowjobs?
They don't like any jobs.
What do you call a nigger priest?
Holy shit.
Why do niggers always have sex on their mind?
Because they've got pubic hair on their head!
Why do niggers put their garbage out in clear plastic bags?
So mexicans can window shop.
Why do mexicans buy Cabbage Patch dolls?
Because they come with birth certificates. |
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Dave NYC
Administrator
Joined: 01 Jun 2005
Posts: 3081
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| Posted: Fri Jun 03, 2005 6:23 am Post subject: |
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What do you call a fag in a wheelchair?
Roll AIDS.
What do you throw a drowning nigger?
The rest of his family.
How do you blind a Chink?
You put a windshield in front of him.
Why did so few niggers vote for Jesse Jackson?
He promised them jobs.
Did you hear about the nigger who had a heart attack on Halloween?
Somebody came dressed as a job.
What do you call a French nigger?
Jacues Custodian.
How is a nigger like a broken gun?
It doesn't work and you can't fire it.
What do you call 5 niggers hanging from a tree?
A Mississippi wind chime.
Why did the nigger cross the road?
Who the **** cares why is he out of the cotton field?
What do you call a white man surrounded by 100 niggers?
Warden.
Do you know why flies have wings?
So they can get away from the niggers.
What's the difference between a pothole and a nigger?
You'd swerve to avoid a pothole, wouldn't you?
Why don't niggers stick their heads out of moving vehicles?
Their lips catching the wind will beat them to death.
What do you call a nigger hitchiker?
Stranded.
What do you call a nigger after his white girlfriend breaks up with him?
Homeless.
What's the difference between nigger pussy and a bowling ball?
You could eat a bowling ball if you had to.
How do you get a nigger to commit suicide?
Toss a bucket of fried chicken into traffic.
What do you call a nigger with an IQ of 15?
Gifted.
What's the difference between a truckload of watermelons and a truckload of nigger babies?
You can't unload watermelons with a pitchfork!
What's black and red, wears high top Reeboks and cant go through a revolving door?
A nigger with a spear through his head.
What qualifies as good behavior in a ghetto school?
Raising your hand before you pop a cap in the teacher.
What is a nigger's favorite anti-perspirant?
Unemployment.
Hear about the black version of "Shogun"?
It's called "Shonuff."
Did you hear about the nigger and the Mexican who opened a restaurant?
It's called Nacho Mama.
What do you call a black-midget in Ireland?
A lepra-coon.
What's the first thing taught in a ghetto driving school?
How to unlock a car with a coat hanger.
Hear about the new perfume for nigger women?
It's called "Eau de doo dah day."
What is white and has a black asshole?
The Washington D.C. Mayor's office.
Why were wheelbarrows invented?
To teach niggers to walk on their hind legs.
What's the difference between a Jew and a canoe?
Canoes tip.
What do you call a nigger with a regular job, who doesn't drive a lowrider, sleeps in the same bed every night, doesn't collect welfare, and doesn't rape White women?
An inmate.
When is the only time you smile and wink at a nigger?
When you are looking through the scope on your rifle.
What do you call a nigger having sex?
Rape.
Why don't niggers have check books?
They find it too hard to sign their names in spray paint.
How can an Ethiopian woman tell when she's pregnant?
When she pulls out her tampon and it's half eaten. |
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Dave NYC
Administrator
Joined: 01 Jun 2005
Posts: 3081
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| Posted: Fri Jun 03, 2005 6:24 am Post subject: |
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What do you call a nigger priest?
Holy shit.
Why do niggers always have sex on their mind?
Because they've got pubic hair on their head!
Why do niggers put their garbage out in clear plastic bags?
So mexicans can window shop.
Why do mexicans buy Cabbage Patch dolls?
Because they come with birth certificates.
Why don't mexicans have any Olympic teams?
Because all the mexicans who can run, jump, or swim have already left the country.
Why don't mexicans play hide and seek?
Because no one will look for them.
Why do mexicans have re-fried beans?
Have you ever heard of a mexican doing anything right the first time?
How can you tell a mexican airline?
It's the one with hair under the wings.
What do you get when you cross a mexican with an octopus?
I don't know but it sure can pick lettuce.
What are three things you can't give a nigger?
A black eye, a fat lip and an education.
What do niggers use to wash their white clothes?
BLEEATCH!
Why can't spics be firefighters?
They can't tell Jose from hose B.
What did the nigger say when he slid down the zebra?
Now you see me, now you don't, now you see me, now you don't.
What is the difference between a pair of jeans and an Ethiopian?
A pair of jeans only has one fly on it.
What word starts with "N" and ends with "R" that you never want to call a black
person?
Neighbor.
What do you call two Ethiopians in a gold sleeping bag?
Twix.
Why is a Spic like a Skunk?
Beause they're half balck and half white, and smell like shit.
What's the difference between a nigger and a letter?
You can send a letter back to where it came from.
What's the difference between the holy grail and a nigger's daddy?
You may find the grail.
What is black, runny, and scratches on glass?
A nigger in a microwave.
What do you call 9 mexicans in front of your house?
A spicket fence.
How does the navy use niggers?
They debone them and use them as wetsuits.
What does Pontiac stand for?
Poor Old Niggers Think Its A Cadillac.
Do you remember the nigger family on the Jetsons? No?
The future looks pretty good!
Did you hear about the nigger that thought he was bleeding to death?
Turns out he just had diarrhea.
Why don't jews like oral sex?
It's too close to the gas chamber.
Why don't you run over a nigger on a bike?
Its probably your bike.
What do you call 50 niggers burried up to their necks in dirt?
Afro-turf.
Why do niggers drive with their windows up?
They think the smell is coming from outside.
Why do niggers eat tootsie rolls with a fork?
So they don't bite their fingers.
What do you call two nigger cops on motorcycles?
Chocolate chips.
Why don't niggers celebrate Thanksgiving?
KFC isn't open on holidays.
Why do niggers like basket ball?
It involves running, shooting and stealing.
What has four legs and a black arm?
A happy pitbull.
How do you know if a nigger is well hung?
If you can't fit your finger between his neck and the noose.
Did you hear about the jewish child molestor?
He hid in the bushes and said, "Hey little boy, wanna buy some candy?"
Did you hear about the jew bitch who told her husband, "Give me 10 inches and make it hurt."?
He ****ed her twice and threw her down the stairs.
How many nigger college students does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Only one, but he gets 6 credits for it.
What do you call a nigger drinking out of the toilet?
Pushing his luck.
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag?
One is white, made out of plastic, and dangerous for kids to play with and the other you carry your groceries in.
Why was Michael Jackson spotted at K-Mart?
He heard boys' pants were half-off.
Who does Michael Jackson consider to be a Perfect "10"?
Two 5 year olds.
Why did Michael Jackson place a phone call to Boyz-2-Men?
He thought it was a delivery service.
After his wife had a baby, Michael Jackson asked the doctor when it would be OK to have sex again.
The doctor told him he should wait until the kid was at least 12 or 13 years old.
A priest and a rabbi were walking down the side walk. On the other side of the street they see a 12 year old boy. The priest says "Lets go **** him." The rabbi looks for a minute and then says "Out of what?"
What do you call 10 niggers in a steam room?
Gorillas In The Mist.
How does Santa Claus know he's at a Jewish house?
There is a parking meter on the roof.
What's the difference between a jew and a pizza?
A pizza doesn't scream in the oven.
Last edited by Dave NYC on Wed Nov 12, 2008 5:38 pm; edited 1 time in total |
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Dave NYC
Administrator
Joined: 01 Jun 2005
Posts: 3081
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| Posted: Fri Jun 03, 2005 6:25 am Post subject: |
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Why don't mexicans have any Olympic teams?
Because all the mexicans who can run, jump, or swim have already left the country.
Why don't mexicans play hide and seek?
Because no one will look for them.
Why do mexicans have re-fried beans?
Have you ever heard of a mexican doing anything right the first time?
How can you tell a mexican airline?
It's the one with hair under the wings.
What do you get when you cross a mexican with an octopus?
I don't know but it sure can pick lettuce.
What are three things you can't give a nigger?
A black eye, a fat lip and an education.
What do niggers use to wash their white clothes?
BLEEATCH!
Why can't spics be firefighters?
They can't tell Jose from hose B.
What did the nigger say when he slid down the zebra?
Now you see me, now you don't, now you see me, now you don't.
What is the difference between a pair of jeans and an Ethiopian?
A pair of jeans only has one fly on it.
What word starts with "N" and ends with "R" that you never want to call a black person?
Neighbor.
What do you call two Ethiopians in a gold sleeping bag?
Twix.
Why is a Spic like a Skunk?
Beause they're half balck and half white, and smell like shit.
What's the difference between a nigger and a letter?
You can send a letter back to where it came from.
What's the difference between the holy grail and a nigger's daddy?
You may find the grail.
What is black, runny, and scratches on glass?
A nigger in a microwave.
What do you call 9 mexicans in front of your house?
A spicket fence.
How does the navy use niggers?
They debone them and use them as wetsuits.
What does Pontiac stand for?
Poor Old Niggers Think Its A Cadillac.
Do you remember the nigger family on the Jetsons? No?
The future looks pretty good!
Did you hear about the nigger that thought he was bleeding to death?
Turns out he just had diarrhea.
Why don't jews like oral sex?
It's too close to the gas chamber.
Why don't you run over a nigger on a bike?
Its probably your bike.
What do you call 50 niggers burried up to their necks in dirt?
Afro-turf.
Why do niggers drive with their windows up?
They think the smell is coming from outside.
Why do niggers eat tootsie rolls with a fork?
So they don't bite their fingers.
What do you call two nigger cops on motorcycles?
Chocolate chips.
Why don't niggers celebrate Thanksgiving?
KFC isn't open on holidays.
Why do niggers like basket ball?
It involves running, shooting and stealing.
What has four legs and a black arm?
A happy pitbull.
How do you know if a nigger is well hung?
If you can't fit your finger between his neck and the noose.
What do you call a nigger drinking out of the toilet?
Pushing his luck.
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag?
One is white, made out of plastic, and dangerous for kids to play with and the other you carry your groceries in.
Why was Michael Jackson spotted at K-Mart?
He heard boys' pants were half-off.
Who does Michael Jackson consider to be a Perfect "10"?
Two 5 year olds.
Why did Michael Jackson place a phone call to Boyz-2-Men?
He thought it was a delivery service.
After his wife had a baby, Michael Jackson asked the doctor when it would be OK to have sex again.
The doctor told him he should wait until the kid was at least 12 or 13 years old.
A priest and a rabbi were walking down the side walk. On the other side of the street they see a 12 year old boy. The priest says "Lets go **** him." The rabbi looks for a minute and then says "Out of what?"
What do you call 10 niggers in a steam room?
Gorillas In The Mist.
How does Santa Claus know he's at a Jewish house?
There is a parking meter on the roof.
What do you call a fag in a wheelchair?
Roll AIDS.
What do you throw a drowning nigger?
The rest of his family.
How do you blind a Chink?
You put a windshield in front of him.
Why did so few niggers vote for Jesse Jackson?
He promised them jobs.
Did you hear about the nigger who had a heart attack on Halloween?
Somebody came dressed as a job.
What do you call a French nigger?
Jacues Custodian.
How is a nigger like a broken gun?
It doesn't work and you can't fire it.
What do you call 5 niggers hanging from a tree?
A Mississippi wind chime.
Why did the nigger cross the road?
Who the fuck cares why is he out of the cotton field?
What do you call a white man surrounded by 100 niggers?
Warden.
Do you know why flies have wings?
So they can get away from the niggers.
What's the difference between a pothole and a nigger?
You'd swerve to avoid a pothole, wouldn't you?
Why don't niggers stick their heads out of moving vehicles?
Their lips catching the wind will beat them to death.
What do you call a nigger hitchiker?
Stranded.
What do you call a nigger after his white girlfriend breaks up with him?
Homeless.
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Dave NYC
Administrator
Joined: 01 Jun 2005
Posts: 3081
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| Posted: Fri Jun 03, 2005 6:26 am Post subject: |
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What's the difference between nigger pussy and a bowling ball?
You could eat a bowling ball if you had to.
How do you get a nigger to commit suicide?
Toss a bucket of fried chicken into traffic.
What do you call a nigger with an IQ of 15?
Gifted.
What's the difference between a truckload of watermelons and a truckload of nigger babies?
You can't unload watermelons with a pitchfork!
What's black and red, wears high top Reeboks and cant go through a revolving door?
A nigger with a spear through his head.
What qualifies as good behavior in a ghetto school?
Raising your hand before you pop a cap in the teacher.
What is a nigger's favorite anti-perspirant?
Unemployment.
Hear about the black version of "Shogun"?
It's called "Shonuff."
Did you hear about the nigger and the Mexican who opened a restaurant?
It's called Nacho Mama.
What do you call a black-midget in Ireland?
A lepra-coon.
What's the first thing taught in a ghetto driving school?
How to unlock a car with a coat hanger.
Hear about the new perfume for nigger women?
It's called "Eau de doo dah day."
What is white and has a black asshole?
The Washington D.C. Mayor's office.
Why were wheelbarrows invented?
To teach niggers to walk on their hind legs.
What's the difference between a Jew and a canoe?
Canoes tip.
What do you call a nigger with a regular job, who doesn't drive a lowrider, sleeps in the same bed every night, doesn't collect welfare, and doesn't rape White women?
An inmate.
When is the only time you smile and wink at a nigger?
When you are looking through the scope on your rifle.
What do you call a nigger having sex?
Rape.
Why don't niggers have check books?
They find it too hard to sign their names in spray paint.
How can an Ethiopian woman tell when she's pregnant?
When she pulls out her tampon and it's half eaten.
Did you hear about the jewish child molestor?
He hid in the bushes and said, "Hey little boy, wanna buy some candy?"
Did you hear about the jew bitch who told her husband, "Give me 10 inches and make it hurt."?
He ****ed her twice and threw her down the stairs.
How many nigger college students does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Only one, but he gets 6 credits for it.
Why do niggers wear wide-brimmed hats?
So pigeons can't shit on their lips.
Why did so many nigger soldiers get killed in Vietnam?
Every time someone yelled "Get down!" the niggers would jump up and start dancing.
What do you get when you cross a nigger with a Vietnamese?
Nothing. There are some things even a Vietnamese won't do.
What's black and tan and looks good on a nigger?
A Doberman Pinscher.
What's the fastest animal in the world?
The Ethiopian chicken.
Did you hear about Evel Knieval's new motorcycle stunt?
He's going to ride through Ethiopia with a sandwich tied to his back.
Did you hear about Ku Klux Knieval?
He tried to jump 50 niggers with a steam roller.
Why was golf invented?
So white people get a chance to dress like niggers.
What do you do if you see a nigger with half a head?
Stop laughing and reload.
Why did god create orgasms?
So niggers know when to stop.
Why did god give niggers rhythm?
Because he ****ed up their hair, nose and lips.
Why are so many niggers moving to Detroit?
They heard there were no jobs there.
Why can't nigger women become nuns?
Because they can't get used to saying 'superior' after 'Mother'.
How do you fit 15 niggers in the back of a Cadillac?
Don't worry, they'll figure it out.
What's yellow and black and makes you laugh ?
A bus full of niggers going over a cliff.
How do you stop a nigger from drowning?
You don't.
Whats the differance between Afghanistan and Christmas?
Christmas will be here this year.
Whats blue and hangs in my front yard?
My nigger I can paint him whatever color I want.
Why do seagulls have wings?
To beat the niggers to the dump.
What's a crying shame?
When a bus full of niggers drives off a cliff and there were 3 empty seats.
What do you call an Ethiopian with a feather up his ass?
A dart.
Why did the Jews wander in the desert for 40 years?
Because one of them lost a quarter.
What does N.A.A.C.P stand for?
Niggers Are Always Causing Problems
How many spics does it take to have a bath?
Five, one to lie in the tub and four to spit on him.
What do a nigger and an apple have in common?
They both look good hanging from a tree.
Why are niggers always buried 12 feet deep?
Deep down they're good people.
What's the difference between a porch monkey and a yard ape?
The length of the chain.
What's black, orange, and very pretty?
A nigger on fire.
What do you have if you've got a nigger up to his neck in cement?
Not enough cement.
How was copper wire invented?
Two jews fighting over a penny.
How do you starve a nigger?
Hide his welfare check under his work boots.
How do you get 12 niggers in a Volkswagen?
Throw in a welfare check.
How do you get them out?
Throw in a job application.
Why are there trees in Harlem?
Public transportation.
How does a black woman fight crime?
She has an abortion.
What do you say when you see your T.V. floating around at night?
"Drop it nigger."
What do you call 4 cops shooting a black guy 41 times? * Target practice.
What's the difference between a pothole and blacks? * You'd swerve to avoid a pothole, wouldn't you?
A black man, a Jew and a spic get shoved off a building at the same time- which one hits pavement first? * Who cares.
If I had enough cash to send half the blacks in America back to Africa.... * Id choose to send them all just half way.
Why was there only 1 black man on the space shuttle Challenger? * They didn't know it was going to blow up.
What do you call a black man at a skinhead rally? * Soon to be an ex-nigger.
"Shotgun shoot'in"
What do you do when you see a black man with one leg? * Stop laughing and re-load
What do you do when a black man running towards you with no head * Stop laughing and re-load
What do you do if you see a black man running through your yard with half his head shot off? * Quit laughing and re-load!
What is black inside and yellow outside and makes you laugh? * A bus full of blacks falling off a cliff.
What is yellow on the outside and black on the inside and a lot of fun to watch? * A bus full of blacks going over a cliff
What would be a damn shame about a bus full of blacks going off a cliff? * One seat empty!
What do you call three blacks sitting in a garden? * Fertilizer.
What is wrong with 4 blacks going over a cliff in a Cadillac? * It seats 5
What do you call 50,000 blacks in the bottom of the sea? * A good start.
How do you drown a black man? * drop a quarter in the bottom of a pool
What do you call 100 niggers on the moon? * Problem
1,000 niggers ? * Problem
All the niggers ? * Problem solved
How do you stop a blacks man from drowning?
* Take your foot off his head - But who would want too..
* Take your foot off his head ? on second thought, Don't!
* You don't.
How many blacks does it take to roof a building? * Ten, if you slice them thin enough.
How many blacks does it take to pave a road? * Depends on how you slice them
What do you throw to a drowning black man in the middle of a lake? * His wife and kids!
What do you call the inventor of the noose? * A genius
What do you call 1000 blacks going over a cliff? * Nigger falls |
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Dave NYC
Administrator
Joined: 01 Jun 2005
Posts: 3081
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| Posted: Fri Jun 03, 2005 6:27 am Post subject: |
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What's Hitlers least favorite planet?
'Jewpiter'
Whats the difference between a jew and a pizza?
The pizza doesnt scream when you put it in an oven!
Whats the difference between a Jew and a Canoe?
A canoe tips
How do you get 100 jews into a car?
Throw a quarter in it.
How do you get them out again?
Tell them Hilter is driving.
How many jews can you fit in a VW Beetle?
54, two in the front, two in the back, and fifty in the ashtray.
How do you know you have a queer Jew?
He likes money more than girls.
Have you heard about the Jewish sports car?
It stops on a dime, then picks it up
What is a Jews biggest dilemma?
Free pork
Why do Jews have such big noses?
Cuz all the airs free.
Whats the object of Jewish football?
To get the quarter back.
How was copper wire invented?
2 Jews fighting over the same penny
What language does Jewish homo speak?
Heblew
What did the little German boy get for his birthday?
Easy bake oven and a G.I Jew
Hows Christmas celebrated in Jewish homes?
They put parking meters on the roof.
Why did the Jews walk around the desert for 40 years?
They heard that someone dropped a quarter
What do you call a room full of jewish women with yeast infections?
A whine and cheese party.
Whats Jewish doggy style?
You beg for half an hour and the princess rolls over and plays dead.
What happens when a Jew with an errection walks into a wall?
He breaks his nose.
What's faster than a speeding bullet?
A jew with a coupon.
What do you call a nigger with a peg leg?
Shit on a stick!
Why do niggers always have sex on their minds?
Because they have pubes on their heads!
What does Pontiac stand for?
Poor Old Nigger Thinks It's A Cadillac!
Did you hear the one about the baby nigger who went to heaven and got his wings?
He said, "God! Look! I'm an angel!", and God said, "No you stupid nigger! You're a bat, now eff off!"
I like black people . . .
. . I used to have some black friends 'till my dad sold them!
What does a nigress and an ice hockey player have in common?
They both change their pads after 3 periods!
Why do blacks have white hands and feet?
They were on all fours when God spray painted them!
Why do black people have white hands?
Everyone has some good in them!
Why do black people have white hands?
It rubs off the cop cars!
Why do more niggers get hit by cars in the winter?
They're easier to spot!
What do you call two blacks on one bike?
Organized crime!
Why are niggers getting stronger?
T.V.s are getting bigger!
What happened to the nigger who had an abortion?
Crime Stoppers sent her a check for $500!
Why don't nigger bitchs wear panties to picnics?
To keep the flies away from the chicken!
What's the difference between a truck full of baby niggers and a truck full of bowling balls?
You can't unload a truck full of bowling balls with a pitchfork!
What does FUBU stand for?
Farmers Used to Buy Us
What does FUBU stand for?
Farmers Used to Beat Us
Why don't sharks eat niggers?
They think its whale shit!
Why do niggers call white people "honkies"?
Thats the last sound they hear before they get hit!
What do they do with dead niggers in California?
Gut them to make wetsuits!
Why does L.A. have so many fags and N.Y. so many niggers?
L.A. had first choice!
What do you call a chinese nigger with AIDS?
Coon Die Soon!
What does NAACP stand for?
Niggers Against All Caucasian People
What does NAACP stand for?
Now Apes Are Called People
Why did God give niggers big dicks?
As a way to say "sorry" for putting pubes on their heads!
Why do niggers wear wide brimmed hats?
So birds won't shit on their lips!
Why was white chocolate invented?
So nigger kids could get messy too!
What do you call a niggers car?
A 'blood vessel'.
What do you call 1,000 niggers going down a hill?
A mudslide!
What do Nikes and the KKK have in common?
They both make niggers run fast!
Why is there no black Miss America pageant?
Nobody want's to be Ms. Idaho!
What do you get when you cross a nigger and a gorilla?
A dumb gorilla!
What do you call a nigger having sex?
Rape!
How many polacks does it take to clean a bathroom?
None, it's a niggers job!
White folks aren't racist . .
. . we've all got colored TV's!
Why do niggers hate asperin?
Because it's white and it works!
A nigger walks into a bar and says, "Yo! Where do all the homies hang?"
The bartender says, "out there", pointing to a tree in the back.
What do you call an Ethiopian on a hunger strike?
An Ethiopian!
How many niggers does it take a shingle a roof?
It depends how thin you slice them!
How do you get a nigger out of a tree?
Cut the rope!
Why don't nigger babies play in sandboxes?
Cats keep trying to bury them!
What do you call 60,000 niggers on a plane heading back to Africa?
A good start!
What do you call a nigger hiding in the woods?
A brown recluse!
What do you call a black bowling ball?
A nigger egg.
What did God say when he made the first nigger?
Oops! I put the pubes on his head!
What was missing from the Million Man March?
About a thousand miles of chain and an auctioneer!
What do Confederates do on the New Year?
Shoot niggers with roman candles and throw Confetti!
How do you get a nigger to wear a condom?
Put a Nike logo on it!
How do you keep a nigger bitch pleased?
Give her some fried chicken!
What happened when the Nigger looked up his family tree?
A gorilla shit on his face!
What do you call a busload of niggers going off a cliff with one empty seat?
A crying shame!
What do you call 1,000 niggers at the bottom of the sea?
A good start!
What did God say when he made the first nigger?
Oops! Burnt another one!
Why haven't any niggers died from West Nile virus?
Mosquitos don't land on shit, only flies do!
Why is a nigger like a vending machine?
Neither work, but they both take your money!
Why are blacks so tall?
Their knee grows.
What do you call a bunch of old niggers in a barn?
Antique farm equiptment!
Why do they put cotton in pill bottles?
To remind the niggers they used to pick cotton before they were drug dealers!
Why was the nigger with diarrea freaking out?
He thought he was melting!
Why does Stevie Wonder always smile?
He doesn't know he's black.
What's the difference between bigfoot and a working nigger?
Bigfoot's been spotted!
What's the definition of Mass Confusion?
Fathers day in Harlem!
What do you call a nigger with an afro?
Microphone.
What do you call two blacks in a bodybag?
Twix!
Why are there only 2 pall bearer at a niggers funeral?
A garbage can only has two handles!
What does a nigger give his kid for his birthday?
YOUR bike!
Why shouldn't you throw rocks at a nigger driving by?
It could be your car!
Why did the man take off his watch to grab a handful of jelly beans?
He was afraid the blacks would steal it!
How do we know Adam wasn't black?
Ever try taking a rib from a black guy?
What's long, dark and stinks?
The unemployment line!
Why do niggers and spics always have nice clothes, jewelry and cars but still live in shitty houses?
They haven't figured out how to steal houses yet!
Why can't Ray Charles or Stevie Wonder read?
They're niggers!
A woman meets a black guy and invites him back to her place. She handcuffs herself to the bed and screams...
"Do what you black men do best!". The nigger grabs the TV and runs!
What's blue and hangs in my front yard?
My nigger! I'll paint him whatever color I want!
What's a black mans fortune cookie?
A peice of cornbread with a food stamp in the middle!
How does a niggress take a pregnancy test?
She sticks a banana up her pussy, if it comes out half-eaten you know there's another monkey on the way!
What's 8 miles long and has a combined IQ of 56?
The Martin Luther King Day parade!
What's the difference between a nigger and Batman?
Batman can go out at night without Robbin!
What's the difference between a nigger and a letter?
You can send the letter back where it came from!
What do you call a bunch of niggers neck-deep in mud?
Afro-turf
What do you call a bunch of niggers skydiving?
Air pollution!
What's long and hard on a nigger?
Third grade.
A nigger with a parrot walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, where did you get that?"
The parrot says, "Africa! There are millions of them over there just sitting around"
What does NAACP stand for?
Niggers Are Actually Colored People.
What does NAACP stand for?
Niggers Are Always Causing Problems.
What does NAACP stand for?
Niggers, Apes, Aligators, Coons and Possums.
What do you call a nigger waterskiing?
A top-water jig.
What would you call the flintstones if they were black?
Niggers!
A nigger, a jew and a mexican jump off a building at the same time .. who hits the ground first?
Who cares!
How do you keep a nigger from drowning?
Take your boot off his head.
Ever hear the rumor that niggers are bigger than white men? How do you tell when a nigger is really well hung?
When you can't fit a finger between his neck and the rope!
What do you say to a black man in court?
Will the defendant please rise!
What do you call a black man in high school?
Janitor
What's the only way a person can look at a nigger and smile?
Through the scope of a gun!
Why do niggers keep chickens in their back yards?
To teach their kids how to walk.
How do you keep a nigger from jumping on the bed?
Put velcro on the ceiling.
Whats the difference between a nigger and a bucket of shit?
The bucket.
What do an apple and a nigger have in common?
They both belong hanging in trees.
Why don't niggers celibrate Thanksgiving?
KFC is closed on holidays.
How do you starve a nigger?
Hide his foodstamps under his work boots.
What do you call seven niggers hanging in a tree?
A windchime.
What are three things you can't give a nigger?
A fat lip, a black eye and a job!
What's the difference between a dead dog in a road and a dead nigger in a road?
The dog has skid marks in front of it.
What do you call a black priest?
Holy shit!
I had a nigger in my family tree . . .
. . . he's still hanging there!
Why are trees so close in Harlem?
Public transportation.
How long does it take a nigress to take a shit?
9 months
What do you call a nigger with a Harvard education?
A nigger!
Why are all the niggers fast runners?
All the slow ones are in jail.
Whats the difference between niggers and snow tires?
Snow tires don't sing when you put chains on them!
How do you keep a nigger from going out?
Pour more gas on him!
Why do white folks go to nigger garage sales?
To get their stuff back.
How do you keep niggers out of your back yard?
Hang one in your front yard!
What does a nigger and sperm have in common?
Only about 1 out of two million actually work.
What do you do if you wake up in the middle of the night to see your television floating in mid-air?
Shoot the nigger stealing it.
What's the difference between a large pizza and a nigger?
A pizza can feed a family of four.
What's wrong with four niggers in a cadillac going off a cliff?
A cadillac seats five!
How can you tell a nigger's just had sex?
His eyes are all red from the mace.
How do you get a nigger to leave you alone?
Throw him a basketball!
What's the difference between a naked white woman and a naked black woman?
One's on the cover of Playboy and the other's on the cover of National Geographic.
Why don't niggers dream?
The last one to have a dream got shot.
Theres an American airline and one of the engines is going out so they decide they need to get rid of some weight or they will crash.
To do it fairly they decide to do it in alphabetical order. So they tell all of the African Americans to jump off the plane, no one moves.
So they say, "Okay, all the blacks jump off." Still no one jumps. So they say, "All of the colored people jump off." Still no one jumps.
Finally this little kid walks up to his dad and says, "Daddy, aren't we all three of those?" And the dad says, "Nope, today we're NIGGERS, we aint jumpin before the MEXICANS." |
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Dave NYC
Administrator
Joined: 01 Jun 2005
Posts: 3081
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| Posted: Fri Jun 03, 2005 6:28 am Post subject: |
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A nigger and a spic fall from a tree, who hits the ground first?
The spic, the nigger never makes it because he's stopped by the rope.
There was a blackout in my neighborhood last night.
I had to shoot him before he stole everything.
What would Martin Luther King, Jr be if he was white?
Alive!
A Nigger runs into a doctor's office and says, "Doctor, Doctor I can't stop running around!"
The doctor says, "Okay, take this tablet." The Nigger slows down and stops. He said, "WOW! It really worked!
I've tried everything! What was it?" The doctor says, "It's Persil - Stops colours running."
What's the most confusing day in Harlem?
Fathers Day!
Did you hear about the new black barbie?
It comes with 12 kids, AIDS, and a welfare check. Crack not included!
How do you stop a nigger from jumping on the bed?
Put velcro on the ceiling!
A zebra asked an sparrow, "Am I a white animal with black stripes, or a black animal with white stripes?" The bird said, "I can't tell you, but you should ask the owl--he knows all". The zebra asked the question to the owl, "Am I a black animal with white stripes, or a white animal with black stripes?" The owl said, "You are what you are". Confused, the zebra went back to the sparrow and told him what the owl had said. "Well then," said the sparrow, "you are a white animal with black stripes". "How do you know that", asked the zebra. "Because", explained the sparrow, "if you where a black animal with white stripes, the owl would have said 'you is what you is'".
Why do niggers hate god?
Because he already burned em once!
Whats black and brown and looks good on a nigger?
A rotwheiler!
Why are aspirins white?
If they were black,they wouldn't work!
How do you watch a NIGGER baby?
Wet his lips and stick him to the wall! (to get him off-slide him to the corner)
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Top 10 reasons why there are no black NASCAR drivers......
10) YOU HAVE TO SIT UPRIGHT WHILE DRIVING.
09) THE PISTOL WON'T STAY UNDER FRONT SEAT.
0 ENGINES DROWN OUT THE RAP MUSIC.
07) THE PIT CREW CAN'T WORK ON THE CAR WHILE HOLDING UP PANTS AT THE SAME TIME.
06) THEY KEEP TRYING TO CARJACK DALE, JR.
05) POLICE CARS ON TRACK INTERFERE WITH RACE.
04) NO PASSENGER SEAT FOR THE HO.
03) THERE ARE NO SPONSORS FOR CADILLAC.
02) CAN'T WEAR HELMET SIDEWAYS.
AND THE NUMBER 1 REASON WHY BLACKS CAN'T BE IN NASCAR:
01) WHEN THEY CRASH THEIR CAR THEY BAIL OUT AND RUN.
I have nothing against NIGGERS...
I think every one should own a few!
How do you castrate a nigger?
Kick his FAT momma in the jaw!
Do you know why ray charles and stevie wonder can't read?
Becuase they are niggers!
What do you do when you see a nigger with one leg?
Stop laughing and reload!
What do you call 10,000 niggers on the moon?
A black star...
What do you call 1 million nigger on the moon?
Eclipse...
What do you call all the niggers on the moon?
Problem solved!
This little boy is sleeping one night and has a dream that his grandfather is going to die. Well the next morning he wakes up, goes in the kitchen to get some breakfast,andhis mother says "son, I've got something horrible to tell you". And the little boy says "no mother, I alredy know, Grandpa is dead huh"? "How'd you know" said the mother? The little boy said "because I dreamed it lastnight while in bed". The mother says "well I'm sorry I know you loved him and all, but now he's gone." And the little boy goes off to school. The next night the little boy has a dream his Father is going to die, well he goes to school all day and is very worried, and all. Well he comes home later that day to find his mother, and father both were at home and he was overjoyed at the sight of his father. But his mother was crying histerically, and the little boy said "Mom what's the matter"? and his mother says, "Son the milk man was delivering the milk today and.. well... he fell up the steps, had a heart attack and just died, right there."
What do you call a white guy surrounded by 3 niggers? In trouble.
What do you call a white guy surrounded by 5 niggers? Coach.
What do you call a white guy surrounded by 1000 niggers. Prison Warden
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Home r, a handsome dude, walked into a sports bar around 9:58 PM. He sat down next to this Nigger at the bar and stared up at the TV. The 10:00 news was on. The news crew was covering a story of a man on a ledge of a large building preparing to jump. The nigger looked at Homer and said, "Do you think he'll jump?"
Homer says, "You know, I bet he'll jump."
The Nigger replied, "Well, I bet he won't."
Homer placed $20 on the bar and said, "You're on!"
Just as the Nigger placed his money on the bar, the guy did a swan dive off of the building, falling to his death. The Nigger was very upset and handed her $20 to Homer, saying, "Fair's fair. Here's your money."
Homer replied, "I can't take your money, I saw this earlier on the 5 o'clock news and knew he would jump."
The Nigger replies, "I did too; but I didn't think he'd do it again."
Homer took the money......
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This little niglet boy asked his dad, "Dad, I have the biggest dick in the third grade. Is it because I'm black?"
The dad replied "No you dumb nigger, it's because you're 17!"
How do you make a nigger nervous?
Take em to an auction!
What's the difference between an ethiopion and a pair of jeans?
A pair of jeans only has one fly on it!
N.A.A.C.P. = Now Apes Are Called People
Why can't black babies play in the sand box?
Because cats keep covering them up!
What do you say to a black man in uniform?
I'll take a Big Mac, fries and a large coke!
Why do blacks have flat noses?
That's where god put his feet when he was pulling off their tails
What do you have if you've got a black man up to his neck in cement?
Not enough cement!
What has four legs and a black arm?
A happy pitbull!
What starts with "N", ends with "R", and is a word you never want to call a black?
Neighbor!
How do you get a nigger out of a tree?
Tell a bunch of drunk border hoppers its a pinyada!
What do you do with a black jew?
Put him in the back of the oven! |
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Dave NYC
Administrator
Joined: 01 Jun 2005
Posts: 3081
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| Posted: Fri Jun 03, 2005 6:29 am Post subject: |
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What do you call a little mexican?
A paragraph, because he's not quite an essay.
Why aren't there any spics on Star Trek?
They won't work in the future either!
What do you call a gang of spics running down a hill?
Jailbreak!
Why do blacks put their garbage in clear bags?
So puerto ricans can window shop!
Why do spics drive lowriders?
So they can drive while they pick strawberries.
What do you call a mexican getting baptised?
Bean dip!
What do you call a building full of spics?
A jail!
What do you call two mexicans playing basketball?
Juan on Juan!
What do you call a spic with a rubber toe?
Roberto!
How do you kill a mexican?
Throw a quarter off a cliff!
What do you get when you breed a black and a mexican?
A theif who's too lazy to steal!
Why don't mexicans have barbecues?
The beans keep falling through the grill!
What did the spic say when his home fell on him?
Get off me holmes!!
How do you find the richest spic in town?
Drop a penny, whoever catches it is the richest spic!
Why do mexicans eat tamales on christmas?
So they'll have something to unwrap!
Why were there only 40,000 mexicans at the Alamo?
They only have two cars!
How do you start a mexican parade?
Roll a quarter down the street!
A mexican and a nigger are riding in car . . who's driving?
A cop!
How do you hide money from a mexican?
Hide it under a bar of soap!
Why is there no mexican olympic team?
All the spics who can run, jump or swim are in the U.S.!
Why is a spic like a pizza?
They're both small, greasy and speak no english!
What is a Mexican without a lawnmower?
Unemployed!
Why do mexicans like tiny steering wheels?
It make it easier to drive while handcuffed!
What do you call a spick with too much hair jell?
A jellybean!
How do you save a drowning Puerto Rican?
You don't know, GOOD!
What do get when you cross a Spic and a gook?
A car thief who can't drive
What do you call a Mexican with long hair?
An Indian!
Why do Hispanic women hate Swans?
Because they're White, They're Beautiful, and They usually know who the fathers of their children are!
How do you start a riot in mexico?
Roll a Quarter down the street.
How do you find the richest beaner in mexico?
Find out who go the quarter! |
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Dave NYC
Administrator
Joined: 01 Jun 2005
Posts: 3081
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| Posted: Sun Nov 27, 2005 11:31 pm Post subject: |
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What do you call African engineering?
A Nigger-rig!
What is the best way to blow a gang-nigger?
Pack his fat lips full of gunpowder and light his AFRO on fire!
How do you tell if a gangbanger is well hung?
When you can't get more than two fingers between the rope and it's neck.
What do you get when you cross a nigger and a gorilla?
A real stupid gorilla!
How do you stop 5 niggers from raping a white woman?
Toss the apes a basketball or shoot them!
Why are all niggers so fast?
Because all the slow ones are in jail.
Why did they only count 500,000 niggers at the million man march?
Forgot to look in the trees.
What do niggers and apples have in common?
Both look dammed good hanging from trees!
What's the difference between dog shit and niggers?
When dog shit gets old it turns White and quits stinking.
What do you call a nigger in a tree with a briefcase?
Branch manager.
How do you stop a nigger from drowning?
Take your foot off the back of his head.
What do you get when you cross a retard with a gang banger?
Someone who spray paints on a chain link fence.
Why do niggers stink?
So blind people can hate them too.
What do you get when you cross a nigger and a spic?
Someone too lazy to steal.
Why don't niggers take aspirin?
They refuse to pick the cotton out.
What do nigger kids get for Christmas?
Your bike.
Why don't nigger kids play in the sandbox?
Cats keep covering them up.
What do you call an apartment full of niggers?
A COON-dominium.
Why do niggers keep chickens in their back yards?
To teach their kids how to walk.
How do you know Adam and Eve were not black?
You ever try to take a rib from a nigger?
What is a nigger?
Proof that skunks fuck monkeys.
What do you call an Ethiopian with a pickle on his head?
A quarter-pounder.
What do you get when you cross a nigger and a chink?
A ape that eats a hell of a lot of rice.
How do you get 20 niggers into the backseat of a Yugo?
Toss in a welfare check!
What is always the best way to look at a gangster nigger?
Through a rifle scope!
What was missing from the million man march? 30 miles of chain and an auctioneer.
How do u save a drowning nigger?
You don't.
What do u throw a drowning nigger?
Wife and kids.
How do u drown a nigger?
Pop his lip.
Why do niggers have upturned pig noses?
That?s where God held them when he painted them.
Why are their no niggers in the cartoon the Flintstones?
Because they were still monkeys at that time.
What do you get when you cross a nigger and a wetback?
A monkey that speaks spanish.
Why did the nigger cross the road?
To sell crack to the children at the other school.
What did the 13 yr. old nigger whore say while screwing?
Get off me daddy your crushing my cigarettes!
Why do gangbangers call European-Americans whitey?
Because that?s the last sound they hear as whitey runs them over!
What do you get when you cross a nigger and a jew?
A mulatto conman.
Whats the difference between good niggers and bad niggers?
Good niggers are locked up in the medium security prison.
What?s a real good way to kill a nigger?
Toss a bucket of chicken into the middle of the freeway!
Why did God give niggers big dicks?
As a way to say "sorry" for putting pubes on their heads! -igor
Why do niggers wear wide brimmed hats?
So birds won't shit on their lips!
Why was white chocolate invented?
So nigger kids could get messy too!
What do you call a niggers car?
A 'blood vessel'.
What do you call 1,000 niggers going down a hill?
A mudslide!
What do Nikes and the KKK have in common?
They both make niggers run fast!
Why is there no black Miss America pageant?
Nobody want's to be Ms. Idaho!
What do you get when you cross a nigger and a gorilla?
A dumb gorilla!
What do you call a nigger having sex?
Rape!
How many polacks does it take to clean a bathroom?
None, it's a niggers job!
White folks aren't racist . .
. . we've all got colored TV's!
Why do niggers hate asperin?
Because it's white and it works!
A nigger walks into a bar and says, "Yo! Where do all the homies hang?". The bartender says, "out there", pointing to a tree in the back.
What do you call an Ethiopian on a hunger strike?
An Ethiopian!
How many niggers does it take a shingle a roof?
It depends how thin you slice them!
How do you get a nigger out of a tree?
Cut the rope!
Why don't nigger babies play in sandboxes?
Cats keep trying to bury them!
What do you call 60,000 niggers on a plane heading back to Africa?
A good start!
What do you call a nigger hiding in the woods?
A brown recluse!
What do you call a black bowling ball?
A nigger egg.
What did God say when he made the first nigger?
Oops! I put the pubes on his head!
What was missing from the Million Man March?
About a thousand miles of chain and an auctioneer!
What do Confederates do on the New Year?
Shoot niggers with roman candles and throw Confetti!
How do you get a nigger to wear a condom?
Put a Nike logo on it!
How do you keep a nigger bitch pleased?
Give her some fried chicken!
What happened when the Nigger looked up his family tree?
A gorilla shat on his face!
What do you call a busload of niggers going off a cliff
with one empty seat?
A crying shame!
What do you call 1,000 niggers at the bottom of the sea?
A good start!
What did God say when he made the first nigger?
Oops! Burnt another one!
Why haven't any niggers died from West Nile virus?
Mosquitos don't land on shit, only flies do!
How do you stop a nigger from going out?
Use more napalm!
What?s the best way to keep gangbangers out of your backyard?
Hang one in the front yard!
What do you get when you cross a nigger and a faggot?
African shitdick.
What should you do if you accidentally run over a nigger?
Throw the truck into reverse!
How many niggers does it take to roof a house?
8 if you cut the apes just right!
Why do whites shop at nigger yard sales?
To get back their possessions.
What is the safest place to be during a nigger-riot?
At work because Niggers are lazy!
What do you call 4 niggers at the bottom of the ocean?
Pollution!
What do you call 40,000 niggers at the bottom of the ocean?
solution!
How many Ethiopians can you fit in a phone booth?
All of them.
How do you start a foot race in Ethiopia?
Roll a doughnut down the street.
How many niggers does it take to pave a driveway?
One if you spread him real thin.
When does a Black man turn into a nigger?
As soon as he leaves the room.
What do you call a nigger with a Harvard education?
Nigger.
Why don't nigger women wear panties to picnics?
To keep the flies off the chicken.
Why does Alabama have niggers and California have earthquakes?
California got first pick.
Did you hear that the KKK bought the movie rights to Roots?
They're going to play it backwards so it has a happy ending.
What is the difference between a white owl and a black owl?
A white owl goes, "Who, who," a black owl goes, "Who dat? Who dat?"
Did you hear about the new Black Barbie?
It comes with 12 kids, AIDS and a welfare check.
What is black, white, and rolls off the end of the pier?
A nigger and a seagull fighting over a chicken wing.
Why do niggers walk the way they do?
Because they spent the first nine months of their lives
dodging a coat hanger.
Do you remember the nigger family on the Jetsons? No?
The future looks pretty good!
Did you hear about the nigger that thought he was bleeding to death?
Turns out he just had diarrhea.
What do you call two nigger cops on motorcycles?
Chocolate chips.
Why don't niggers celebrate Thanksgiving?
KFC isn't open on holidays.
Why do niggers like basket ball?
It involves running, shooting and stealing.
What has four legs and a black arm?
A happy pitbull.
How do you know if a nigger is well hung?
If you can't fit your finger between his neck and the noose.
How is a nigger like a broken gun?
It doesn't work and you can't fire it.
What do you call 5 niggers hanging from a tree?
A Mississippi wind chime.
Why did the nigger cross the road?
Who the fuck cares why is he out of the cotton field?
What do you call a white man surrounded by 100 niggers?
Warden.
Do you know why flies have wings?
So they can get away from the niggers.
How do you baby-sit a baby nigger?
Wet the animals lips and stick it to a window!
How many niggers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One to hold it in the socket and wait for the world to revolve around him.
What do you get when you cross a nigger and a indian?
An Alcoholic chimp.
What is tattooed inside every niggers lip?
inflate to 80 P.S.I.!
What is the difference between an old nigger bitch and a elephant?
About twenty pounds!
What do you call a nigger with a peg leg?
Shit on a stick! -joe
Why do niggers always have sex on their minds?
Because they have pubes on their heads! -Bo
What does Pontiac stand for?
Pool Old Nigger Thinks It's A Cadillac!
Did you hear the one about . .
. . the baby nigger who went to heaven and got his wings? He said, "God! Look! I'm an angel!", and God said, "No you stupid nigger! You're a bat, now eff off!"
I like black people . . .
. . I used to have some black friends 'till my dad sold them!
What does a nigress and an ice hockey player have in common?
They both change their pads after 3 periods! -ashmoor
Why do black people have white hands?
They were up against the wall when God spray painted them!
Why do black people have white hands?
Everyone has some good in them!
Why do black people have white hands?
It rubs off the cop cars!
Why do more niggers get hit by cars in the winter?
They're easier to spot!
What do you call two blacks on one bike?
Organized crime!
Why are niggers getting stronger?
T.V.s are getting bigger!
What happened to the nigger who had an abortion?
Crime Stoppers sent her a check for $500! -tim
Why don't nigger bitchs wear panties to picnics?
To keep the flies away from the chicken! -michael
What's the difference between a truck full of baby niggers and a truck full of bowling balls?
You can't unload a truck full of bowling balls with a pitchfork!
What does FUBU stand for?
Farmers Used to Buy Us
What does FUBU stand for?
Farmers Used to Beat Us
Why don't sharks eat niggers?
They think its whale shit!
Why do niggers call white people "honkies"?
Thats the last sound they hear before they get hit! -davey
What do they do with dead niggers in California?
Gut them to make wetsuits!
Why does L.A. have so many fags and N.Y. so many niggers?
L.A. had first choice!
What do you call a chinese nigger with AIDS?
Coon Die Soon
What does NAACP stand for?
Niggers Against All Caucasian People
What does NAACP stand for?
Now Apes Are Called People -Brando
Why do police dogs lick their asses so much?
To get the taste of nigger out of their mouths!
What do niggers say while having sex?
If you?s scream white bitch I?s kill ya!
What is the difference between a nigger and a snow tire?
Snow tires don?t sing when you slap the chains on them.
What do you call a nigger with a I.Q. of 15?
Gifted.
A nigger with a I.Q. of 150?
Tribe.
What?s the definition of the great American dream?
All the niggers go back to Africa with a mexican and a jew under each arm.
What do you call 100 parachuting niggers?
Skeet!
What's the difference between a truckload of nigger babies and a truckload of bowling balls?
You can't unload the bowling balls with a pitchfork!
What?s black, tan, brown and red?
My Doberman chewing up a gangbanger.
Why did all the niggers really die in Vietnam?
When the Sergeant said: "get down!" The niggers started to dance.
What's green, pink and purple and orange?
A nigger all dressed up for church!
How do you tell that a nigger was shot in the head?
By the hole in his ghetto-blaster!
How many men does it take to carry a niggers coffin?
Eight, six to carry the coffin and two to carry the ghetto-blaster!
Why did the ape commit suicide?
He heard that he might have evolved from a nigger!
How do you get the gangbanger out of a tree?
cut the rope!
What do the skins and steroids have in common?
Both make niggers run real fast!
What do you say to a nigger in a three piece suit?
"Will the defendant please rise."
What is the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead gangbanger?
Skid marks in front of the dog; burn out patch in front of the gangbanger!
Why did "Wacko Jacko" go to Kmart?
Because he heard that little boys pants were half off!
What do you call one white guy surrounded by three niggers?
Victim!
Why don?t sharks attack niggers?
Sharks think that niggers are whale shit!
How was break dancing first invented?
Little gang-niggers trying to steal hubcaps off moving cars!
How many gang-bangers does it take to paint a wall?
One if you throw the monkey hard enough!
What's the best way to starve a nigger?
Hide the monkeys food stamps under his work boots!
What do you call a unborn baby nigger?
Janitor in a can!
Why did god give niggers rhythm?
Because he fucked up their hair, nose and lips.
Why are so many niggers moving to Detroit?
They heard there were no jobs there.
Why can't nigger women become nuns?
Because they can't get used to saying 'superior' after 'Mother'.
How do you fit 15 niggers in the back of a Cadillac?
Don't worry, they'll figure it out.
What's yellow and black and makes you laugh ?
A bus full of niggers going over a cliff.
Why are niggers always buried 12 feet deep?
Deep down they're good people.
What's the difference between a porch monkey and a yard ape?
The length of the chain.
What's black, orange, and very pretty?
A nigger on fire.
How does the navy use niggers?
They debone them and use them as wetsuits.
What does Pontiac stand for?
Poor Old Niggers Think Its A Cadillac.
What is the primary reason for the US prison system?
Nigger control!
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Dave NYC
Administrator
Joined: 01 Jun 2005
Posts: 3081
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| Posted: Sun Nov 27, 2005 11:32 pm Post subject: |
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A spic walks into a bar and says, "Hey, nigger, give me a drink." The nigger bartender says, "I'll give you a drink, but I would appreciate it if you wouldn't refer to me as a "nigger." "Oh man!, I am sure sorry about that bro'. Won't happen again." A few minutes later the spic says, "Hey moon crickett, another round." The nigger says,"Hey, look, I really don't want you calling me "moon crickett" either." The spic says,"Sorry bootlips, I didn't mean anything by it." The bartender says, "OK that's it! How would you like it if you were the bartender and I came in here calling you names?" "I don't know, let's find out." So the spic puts on an apron and goes behind the bar and the nigger walks outside and comes back in and shouts, "Hey wetback! I want a fucking drink!" The "bartender" stops washing glasses and says, "Oh, I'm sorry, we don't serve niggers in here."
In a first grade class on the first day of school, the teacher wanted to get to know all the students, so she had them all stand up and say their names. A little niglet stood up and said that his name was "Mother Fucker." "Excuse me?" asked the incredulous teacher. "That's right ho, my name be Mother Fucker." "Well listen here," said the teacher, "this may be the first day of school, and you may think you can use foul language to get attention, but I can assure you that I won't tolerate it. Now, tell me your real name right now or I will send you straight to the principal's office." The black boy replied, "Look bitch, I said my name be Mother Fucker, and I mean ta tell ya, it be Mother Fucker!" "Well, that's it! Get out of my classroom right now!" The boy headed for the door and when he got there he turned to his twin brother who was also in the classroom and said, "Come on, Fuck Face, the bitch ain't gonna believe you either."
A nigger walks into a bar with a duck on his shoulder. Bartender says, "Hey, cool, where did you get that?" Duck says, "Africa, they are all over the fucking place."
Nigger walks into the doctor's office and says, "Doctuh, you gots ta hep me! I'm dyin' and it hurts!" "Well, where does it hurt, boy?" "Oh lawd, it hurts here," pointing to his leg, "And it hurts here," pointing to his arm, "And it's killin' me here," pointing to his stomach. After a full examination, the doctor says, "Get out of my office you asshole, all you have is a broken finger!"
The Pope, a boyscout, and the smartest nigger in the world are on an airplane. The engines fail, the plane starts going down, and there is only 2 parachutes. The smartest nigger in the world says, "Due to my extraordinarily high intelligence, I believe it is imperative that I survive and continue to show my people the path to greatness." He grabs a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The Pope tells the boyscout, "I am an old man and I am ready to meet God, so you may use the remaining parachute, my son." The boyscout replies, "No, that's cool Pope, we both have parachutes because that nigger just jumped out of the plane with my backpack."
A priest and a rabbi show up at the Pearly Gates. Peter says, "Can I help you boys?" "Well, yeah, we just died and we would like to come in to Heaven." Peter looks at his clipboard and says, "I don't think so. You have been pretty bad on Earth and we don't let people like that in here. But I'll tell you what; go ahead and go to Hell, just for now. If Satan will let you come back, I will let you in." Peter sends them away laughing, because Satan never lets anyone go to Heaven. About 10 minutes later the preacher shows back up at the Pearly Gates. Peter says, "No shit! Satan let you come back?" "Yeah, he was in a good mood and said for $20 bucks each we could get out of Hell." "Well, where is that rabbi?" "I don't know, when I left he had Satan down to $19.95."
There is this rich Texas rancher who has a 100 meter long swimming pool with a shark in it. He has always said if anyone could swim from one end to the other without being eaten, he would give them either his daughter or his ranch. Well, his beautiful daughter had gone off to art school in New York and brought a nigger classmate home to one of her Dad's big barbeques. Of course, everyone is talking about how fucked up it is that the rancher's daughter brought a nigger there, when all of a sudden there was a huge splash. Everyone looked, and it was the nigger swimming his black ass off with the shark hot on his trail. At the other end of the pool the nigger threw himself out of the water and lay gasping and panting on the ground. The rancher came up and said, "Well, shit. I am a man of my word, so do you want my ranch or my daughter?" The nigger said, " Neither, I just want to know who pushed me into the pool."
It was the Summer of 1968 and a nigger showed up at the Pearly Gates. Peter comes out and says, "Uh, is there something I can do for you? I mean, we don't let niggers in here." "I know," said the nigger, "It's just that, I am from Alabama, and I grew up around White folks, and I like White folks, and I even married a White woman, so I thought maybe I could get in." Peter said, "Wait, you say you married a White woman in Alabama? When the hell was this?" The nigger looks at his watch and says, "Oh, about 10 minutes ago."
Two white convicts escape from their prison, only to find that a nigger has followed them out and is running along with them. The three of them see a few tree in the distance and they each climb up one to avoid the bloodhounds that are tracking them. When the police and dogs get to the first tree the dogs go crazy, barking and jumping. The White convict goes, "Meeeow," and the cops just think it is a cat stuck in a tree. So they go to the next tree where the other White convict says, "Hoo Hoo hoo Hoooo." The police figure it is just an owl in the tree. The nigger, hearing how the 2 White guys avoided capture, figures he will do the same, and when the dogs get to his tree, he lets out a lou, "Moooooooooo." So anyway, they all three get captured, and now they face the firing squad. The first White guy is standing there and as the warden says, "Ready.....Aim...." the prisoner points behind the cops and yells, "Tornado!" As the firing squad turns to look for the twister, the convict jumps over the wall and escapes. Now they have the second White convict standing there. "Ready.....Aim...." He points over their shoulders and yells, "Flash flood!", and escapes as they turn to look. Now the nigger has his turn. "Ready.Aim....." Just then the nigger jumps up and points and yells, "Fire!"
Two big, fat, greasy nigger bitches are at the zoo. These are some big buffarilla type women. So they go to the monkey section where the sign says, "Don't feed the gorilla." But the one woman tries to feed the big silverback a bannana anyway. Well, the huge gorilla walks over, bends the bars apart, grabs the nigger woman inside the cage, and beats the shit out of her and commences to raping her in the ass. It takes the zoo keepers 20 minutes to make the gorilla let go of her. They were spraying it with a fire hose, hitting it with sticks, finally they shot it with about 5 tranquilizers. So the one nigger woman goes to visit her friend in the hospital, and she is fucked up. Swollen eyes, missing teeth, hair all torn out, and as soon as she sees her friend she breaks out crying and sobbing. "There, there honey," says her friend, comforting her and holding her, "We are gonna get you through this and you are gonna be jus' fine, honey." "I know, I know," says the first one, "But he don't call and he don't write and he don't come visit....."
A black nun and a White nun are walking through Central Park at night when 2 niggers jump out and start raping them. "Oh, forgive them, Lord, for the they know not what they do." The black nun exclaims, "Mine sure do!"
So a nigger gets a job digging telephone pole holes and at the end of the day the foreman comes by to see how many he had gotten done. "One, boss," he replied. "One! Hell everybody else can dig 15 holes a day!" "Yeah, sure, but they way they dig them, look how much of the telephone pole is still sticking out of the ground!"
A White man and a nigger are walking through the jungle when a lion jumps out to attack them. The White man throws a handful of sand in the lion's face and climbs up a tree real quick, and says to the nigger, who is still standing on the ground, "Hey, you better get your black ass up in this tree!" "Why?," said the spook, "I didn't throw sand in his face."
The F.B.I. sends an agent to South Africa to learn how the police there stop riots. The South African Police General takes him to a township disturbance where the police fire tear gas grenades at the niger mob. The mob runs away a few blocks, regroups, and comes rushing back at the police. Then the cops open up on them with powerful fire hoses, sending the rioters spinning down the street like soccer balls. They regroup and come charging back again, only to be met with squads of German Shepherd attack dogs. They bite those niggers so full of holes that they run like hell and don't come back. "Very impressive," says the F.B.I. agent, "But let me ask you; since the dogs were so effective, why not just use them first?" "Ah, you don't understand," said the Police general, "The niggers down here smell so bad, first we have to fumigate them and rinse them off before our dogs will touch them."
A guy walks into a bar and exclaims, "Goddamn, niggers are fucking assholes!" Someone at the end of the bar says, "Hey, I am offended by that!" "Why, you aren't a nigger." "I know, I'm a fucking asshole!"
A house at the end of the street in a small country town catches on fire. Soon it is fully engulfed in flames and it looks like there is no hope, when all of a sudden here comes a beat up old Chevy truck with a whole family of niggers crammed into it. Must have been 20 of them. Well, they come tearing through town, honking and waving and screaming for people to get out of the way, and they drive right straight into that burning house and stomp the whole damn fire out with their bare feet. The townspeople come crowding around them and congratulate them and thank them for saving the house, and as a token of their gratitude, they give the nigger family $100. "What are you going to do with the money?" they asked. "Well," says the father of the family, "First off we is gonna fix dem fuckin' brakes!"
A man is driving down the road and he sees a nigger family carrying furniture and dishes into an outhouse. He just shakes his head and keeps driving. The next day he sees them attaching a satellite dish to the roof of the outhouse. He just shakes his head and keeps driving. The next day he drives by and sees two satellite dishes on the roof, and he stops to see what the hell is going on. He says to the nigger, "OK, first I see you carrying furniture into the outhouse and I figure you were moving in. Then I see you putting a dish on the roof, and I figure if you are living in a shithouse you might as well watch T.V. But now I see two dishes on the roof. It is such a small outhouse, why do you need two satellite dishes?" The nigger replied, "Oh, we rented the basement out to Mexicans."
A hindu a jew and a nigger are all walking through the country and stop at a farmer's house to see if they could sleep there for the night. "Well," said the farmer, "All I got fer ya is the barn." The three travellers all agreed that the barn was fine, and the farmer showed them the way. A few minutes later there is a knock at the farmer's door. It was the hindu. He said, "I am very sorry, but there is a cow in the barn and it is strictly forbidden for me to sleep in the barn with a cow. Besides, it smells like shit out there." "Oh, fine, you can sleep in the damn house!" said the farmer. A few minutes later there is another knock at the door. This time it's the jew. He said, "Sir, I am jewish, and you expect me to sleep in the same barn as a pig? A dirty, disgusting, filthy swine? Besides, it smells like shit out there." "Fine, fine, you can sleep in the damn house, just stop bitching!" A few minutes later there is another knock at the door. "I swear to god if it's that damn nigger I am going to whip his ass, because I'll be damned if I let him sleep in my house!" The farmer opened the door and it was the pig and the cow.
A nigger finds a magic lamp and rubs it and when the genie pops out he told her he wanted to be "Tight, White, and outta sight!" So she turned him into a Tampon.
Two niggers walking down the street see a sign that says, "Turn White for $15." The two groids turn their pockets inside out only to discover that one has a 20 dollar bill and the other one has a 10 dollar bill. Since neither one of them has exactly $15, they can't figure out how they can both get turned White.....Finally one of them has a stroke of genius. "You take $20 and go in there and get turned White, then when you come out you can give me your $5 change and then I will have $15 and I can get turned white, too!" "Bet, dog," says the other bootlip, and he goes inside. 10 minutes later, you wouldn't believe it. That nigger was blond haired, blue eyed, and even had on a suit and a tie. The first nigger says, "Man, holy shit, I can't believe it, you are really White! Hurry up and give me that $5 so I can do it too!" "Fuck you, nigger, get a job!"
A first grade teacher wanted to help her students learn black history so one Thursday, she told them that she would read them some famous quotes and whoever could guess who said it could stay home from school the next day. The first one she read was, "By any means necessary." Hands shot up. "Yes, Leroy, can you tell me who said that?" "Malcom X." "That's right," said the teacher, "You may go home now, and you don't have to come to class tomorrow." The next one was, "I have a dream." Again, dozens of little black hands went up. "Yes, Shaquita, do you know who said that?" "Martin Luther King, Jr." "Why yes, that's right, you can go home early and skip school tomorrow also." From the back of the classroom came a disgusted voice, "You goddamn niggers make me fucking sick." The teacher ran to the back of the room and screamed, "Who said that!?" The little White boy jumped out of his chair and headed for the door, saying on his way out, "Tom Metzger. See ya Monday, bitch!"
A nigger finds a lamp and when he rubs it a genie pops out and offers to grant him a wish. He told her he wanted to wake up every morning for the rest of his life with 3 women in bed with him. The next day he woke up in bed with Hillary Clinton, Lorena Bobbitt, and Tonya Harding. His dick was gone, his leg was broken, and he didn't have any health insurance.
A nigger couple showed up at the Pearly Gates. Peter came out and said, "Yes?" "Uh, well sir, my wife and I just died in a car wreck, and we thought we could get into Heaven now." Peter looked at his clipboard and shook his head. "No, you two have been pretty scandalous, I don't think we can have you in here. Well....tell you what. I will bring you back to life and put you back on Earth for 30 days. If you can show some self control and abstain from having sex for the whole month, I will let you in." A month later the 2 showed back up at Heaven. "Well," said Peter, "how did you do?" The nigger replied, "Well, we did great for the first 28 days, but then my wife dropped a bag of potato chips on the floor, and when she bent down to pick them up I just lost it and did her right there on the floor." "That's too bad, because now you know I can't let you into Heaven," said Peter. "Oh, that's OK," said the nigger, "they won't let us back in the grocery store, either."
A little niglet put some flour on his face and when his mother came home he said, "Look Momma, I is a White boy!" She slapped him and sent him to his room. When his father came home he came running out and said, "Look Daddy, I is a White boy!" His father slapped him and sent him to his room. Finally the boy's grandmother came home and the boy thought for sure that she wouldn't be so mean, so he ran out and said, "Hey, I is a White boy!" When his grandmother also slapped his face, the boy shouted, "I has only been White for 15 minutes and I already hate you damn niggers!"
A nigger finds a magic lamp and when he rubs it a genie pops out. When he sees the nigger he says, "Oh, shit. What do you want?" The nigger says, "I want a bridge from America to Africa made out of pure gold." The genie says, "Are you fucking crazy? You know how much gold that would take? That is impossible. Pick something else." So the nigger says, "OK, I want all the little nigger children to be just as smart and good looking as the White children." The genie says, "OK, so that bridge, you want it to be 2 lanes or 4 lanes?"
A nigger boy comes home from his first grade class and said, "Momma, all the White kids made an A+ on the math test, but I failed. Why is that?" His mother said, "It's because you are black, my son." Then the boy said, "And all the White kids got an A+ on the spelling test, but I failed that too. How come?" "Because you are black, my son," said his mother. "But then when we took a shower after gym class, I noticed my dick was bigger than all the White boy's dicks. Why is that?" "Well son," she said, "that is because you are 15 years old."
A trucker carrying a load of bowling balls picked up 2 nigger hitchikers who were pushing bikes with flat tires. He tells them they have to ride in back with the bowling balls, which is fine with them. A few miles down the road a cop pulls the truck over for speeding and he asks to look in the back of the truck. After a quick glance he shuts the door and tells the trucker to get the hell down the road as fast as he can. Then he gets on the police radio and tells his chief, "I got a truck headed your way, you escort him to the county line and get them to escort him right out of the state, quick!" "Why, what the hell is wrong?" asked the chief. "What's wrong? I'll tell you what's wrong....that truck is carrying a load of nigger eggs and 2 of them have already hatched and stole some bikes!"
A midget walks in to a bar, takes a few shots of whiskey, jumps up on the bar stool and said, "Hey, any of you motherfuckers want to fight me?" A guy 6 feet two inches tall and weighing 253 lbs stood up and said, "I'll fight you!" That little midget jumped on him and beat the shit out of him. Next night the midget walked in and took a few shots, jumped on his bar stool and said, "Hey, any of you motherfuckers want to fight me?" This time an even bigger guy stood up. He was about 6 foot 5 inches and weighed 348 lbs. The midget jumped on him and beat the shit out of him, too. So the bar owner went out and bought a gorilla and locked it in the bathroom. Later that night the midget walked in, took a few shots of whiskey and jumped on the bar stool and asked if there were any sons of bitches that want to fight. This time no one stood up. The bar owner said, "There's a guy in the bathroom that wants to kick your fucking ass." Now the gorilla was in the bathroom for about 6 hours and was really pissed off. That midget walked into the bathroom and there was all kinds of noise for about 2 hours. Finally that midget walked out, sat down all out of breath, looked at the bar owner and said, "Tell that damn nigger his fur coat is in the toilet."
SPIC JOKES
Racial Characteristics:
Resembling the Spanish in all their more loathsome characteristics except lazier, dirtier, and more thieving. A large percentage of American Indian blood in the average Mexican deprives him of any natural human sympathies or moral sense and makes him a wholly unmanageable drunk. The principal industry of Mexico is the production of pornographic playing cards that depict their women corrupting the morals of donkeys. Completely untrustworthy, the Mexican will make food out of anything that will hold still, feed it to you, and charge you for it besides. An attempt to conquer and hence eliminate this pesky breed of miscegenators was launched by our government during the last century, but wholesale nausea on the part of our troops, when they'd witnessed Mexican home life prevented our doing as thorough a job as we should have.
Good Points:
They make great gardners.
Proper Forms of Address:
Wetback, beaner, chili-dipper, taco turd, flap hat, scratch-back.
What do you get when you drop 10,000 blacks from an airplane? * New parking lot.
What's the difference between a truckload of watermelons and a truckload of nigger babies? * You can't unload a truckload of watermelons with a pitchfork!
Hear about the new bumper sticker that says "Run, Jesse, Run"? * You put it on the front of your car.
How do you wipe out 250 ape families? * Blow up Kmart.
What do you call 100 parachuting blacks? * Skeet.
What are you doing when you smile and blink at a blacks? * Aiming a shotgun at him [Picture]
Why do blacks call white people "honkies"? * That's the last noise they hear before the white people run them over.
What's Brown and Black and looks good on a nigger? * A Rotweiler -or- A Doberman Pinscher.
What's black and red and gets caught in a revolving door? * A black man with a spear in his back!
What do you call three blacks at a skinhead barbeque? * Charcoal. Kentucky Fried Nigger.
How do you kill a black man? * Aim for the stereo.
What do the KKK and steroids have in common? * They both make black guys run faster [Picture]
How many black guys does it take to paint a wall? * Depends on how hard you throw them
How do you stop a nigger from going out? * Pour more gas on him.
What do you do if you run over a nigger? * Reverse. [Picture - eXtreme]
What's black and red, wears a high top Reeboks and cant go through a revolving door? * A black man with a spear through his head!
What is black, runny, and scratches on glass? * A nigger in a microwave.
No Good Blacks:
What is a nigger? * Proof that skunks **** monkeys.
What did the Alabama sheriff call the nigger who had been shot 15 times? * The worst case of suicide he had ever seen. [Picture]
Name 2 things that blacks and faggots have in common? * Their d**ks are both brown, and they both spread AIDS.
Why are blacks such good dancers? * Because they spent the first nine months of their lives dodging a coat hanger.
A black kid and a white kid in the third grade. Who has the bigger dick? * The black kid , and why, he is 18 years old.
Trees:
What's the difference between a nigger and a Christmas ornament? * A Christmas ornament doesn't scream when you hang it from a tree.
How do you keep blacks out of your back yard? * Hang one in the front yard.
How do you stop a blacks from hanging around in your front yard? * Hang him in the back
How can you tell a black is well hung? * You can only fit one finger between the rope and his neck.
How do you get a black down from a tree * Cut the rope (on second thought, don't!)
What does a black and a apple have in common? * They both look good hanging from a tree
What do black people and candy canes have in common? * They both look good hanging on a tree.
Did you hear that I had a black man in my family tree? * He's been hanging there since last summer.
Shit:
Why is there only two pallbearers at a black's funeral? * Because their is only two handles on a garbage can!
Thief:
What do you do if you see your TV float away at night? * Grab a shotgun and try to shoot the f***ng nigger!
Physical Comedy:
Why do black people make good gynecologist? * They are used to big lips, curly hair, and bad breath.
Why did god give niggers big d**ks? * He felt bad about what he did to their hair.
What's a black mermaid? * A carp with tits.
Stupid Niggers:
?
Lazy:
Why did the nigger run when his girlfriend said she wanted to give him a blowjob? * He was afraid it would cancel his unemployment benefits.
Sex:
Why do niggers have sex all night? * Because they don't go to work the next morning.
What do niggers say during foreplay? * "If you scream, bitch, I'll kill you!"
What's the definition of nigger sex? * Don't scream bitch or I will kill you
Why do Niggers prefer the doggie style position for lovemaking? * They can both watch Soul Train on TV that way.
What is Harlem's definition of "Relative Humidity"? * The pool of sweat that forms in the small of their sisters back when their doin' her doggie style.
Why was the nigger acquitted of the rape charge on the grounds of temporary insanity? * Because when he got an erection, there was no blood left to flow to his brain! [Picture]
Why are black men hung better then white men? * Because little white boys had toys to play with! [Picture]
What do nigger pimps and farmers have in common? * They both need a hoe to stay in business!
What is the definition of a black virgin? * An ugly 8-year-old who can outrun her brother
Why did god create orgasms? * So niggers know when to stop.
God and Niggers:
Why did God create Aids? * To control the niggers out of control population
Misc:
How can you tell if a black women is pregnant? * Shove a banana up her pussy. If it comes out half eaten, you know there is a little monkey up there.
What's the difference between black pussy and a bowling ball? * You can eat a bowling ball.
What happened when the nigger looked up his family tree?
A gorilla shit on his face.
Why don't niggers like blowjobs?
They don't like any jobs
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Dave NYC
Administrator
Joined: 01 Jun 2005
Posts: 3081
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| Posted: Sun Nov 27, 2005 11:33 pm Post subject: |
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A man goes into a shop and sees 3 jars on a table. The first jar says "Caucasian Brains, $5.00 a pint". The second says "Asian Brains, $10.00 a pint", and the third says " Nigger Brains, $100.00 a pint."
"Hey, why are these nigger brains $100 bucks a pint?" asked the man.
The shop owner replied, "You know how many niggers you have to kill to get a whole pint of brains?"
A young nigger walked into the local welfare office, marched straight up to the counter and said, "Hi, I'm tired of handouts, I want a job."
The man behind the counter replied, "Your timing is amazing. We've just got a listing from a very wealthy man who wants a chauffeur/bodyguard for his nympho daughter. You'll have to drive around in a big white Mercedes, but the suits, shirts, and ties are provided. Because of the long hours of this job, meals will also be provided and you will also be required to escort the young lady on her overseas holidays. The salary package is $200,000 a year."
The nigger said, "Ah c'mon, you're bullshitting me!"
The man behind the counter said, "Well, you started it!"
A midget walks in to a bar, takes a few shots of whiskey, jumps up on the bar stool and said, "Hey, any of you motherfuckers want to fight me?" A guy 6 feet two inches tall and weighing 253 lbs stood up and said, "I'll fight you!" That little midget jumped on him and beat the shit out of him. Next night the midget walked in and took a few shots, jumped on his bar stool and said, "Hey, any of you motherfuckers want to fight me?" This time an even bigger guy stood up. He was about 6 foot 5 inches and weighed 348 lbs. The midget jumped on him and beat the shit out of him, too. So the bar owner went out and bought a gorilla and locked it in the bathroom. Later that night the midget walked in, took a few shots of whiskey and jumped on the bar stool and asked if there were any sons of bitches that want to fight. This time no one stood up. The bar owner said, "There's a guy in the bathroom that wants to kick your fuckng ass." Now the gorilla was in the bathroom for about 6 hours and was really pissed off. That midget walked into the bathroom and there was all kinds of noise for about 2 hours. Finally that midget walked out, sat down all out of breath, looked at the bar owner and said, "Tell that damn nigger his fur coat is in the toilet."
A priest and a rabbi show up at the Pearly Gates. Peter says, "Can I help you boys?" "Well, yeah, we just died and we would like to come in to Heaven." Peter looks at his clipboard and says, "I don't think so. You have been pretty bad on Earth and we don't let people like that in here. But I'll tell you what; go ahead and go to Hell, just for now. If Satan will let you come back, I will let you in." Peter sends them away laughing, because Satan never lets anyone go to Heaven. About 10 minutes later the preacher shows back up at the Pearly Gates. Peter says, "No shit! Satan let you come back?" "Yeah, he was in a good mood and said for $20 bucks each we could get out of Hell." "Well, where is that rabbi?" "I don't know, when I left he had Satan down to $19.95."
There is this rich Texas rancher who has a 100 meter long swimming pool with a shark in it. He has always said if anyone could swim from one end to the other without being eaten, he would give them either his daughter or his ranch. Well, his beautiful daughter had gone off to art school in New York and brought a nigger classmate home to one of her Dad's big barbeques. Of course, everyone is talking about how ****ed up it is that the rancher's daughter brought a nigger there, when all of a sudden there was a huge splash. Everyone looked, and it was the nigger swimming his black ass off with the shark hot on his trail. At the other end of the pool the nigger threw himself out of the water and lay gasping and panting on the ground. The rancher came up and said, "Well, shit. I am a man of my word, so do you want my ranch or my daughter?" The nigger said, " Neither, I just want to know who pushed me into the pool."
It was the Summer of 1968 and a nigger showed up at the Pearly Gates. Peter comes out and says, "Uh, is there something I can do for you? I mean, we don't let niggers in here." "I know," said the nigger, "It's just that, I am from Alabama, and I grew up around White folks, and I like White folks, and I even married a White woman, so I thought maybe I could get in." Peter said, "Wait, you say you married a White woman in Alabama? When the hell was this?" The nigger looks at his watch and says, "Oh, about 10 minutes ago."
Two white convicts escape from their prison, only to find that a nigger has followed them out and is running along with them. The three of them see a few tree in the distance and they each climb up one to avoid the bloodhounds that are tracking them. When the police and dogs get to the first tree the dogs go crazy, barking and jumping. The White convict goes, "Meeeow," and the cops just think it is a cat stuck in a tree. So they go to the next tree where the other White convict says, "Hoo Hoo hoo Hoooo." The police figure it is just an owl in the tree. The nigger, hearing how the 2 White guys avoided capture, figures he will do the same, and when the dogs get to his tree, he lets out a lou, "Moooooooooo."
So anyway, they all three get captured, and now they face the firing squad. The first White guy is standing there and as the warden says, "Ready.....Aim...." the prisoner points behind the cops and yells, "Tornado!" As the firing squad turns to look for the twister, the convict jumps over the wall and escapes. Now they have the second White convict standing there. "Ready.....Aim...." He points over their shoulders and yells, "Flash flood!", and escapes as they turn to look. Now the nigger has his turn. "Ready.Aim....." Just then the nigger jumps up and points and yells, "Fire!"
Two big, fat, greasy nigger bitches are at the zoo. These are some big buffarilla type women. So they go to the monkey section where the sign says, "Don't feed the gorilla." But the one woman tries to feed the big silverback a bannana anyway. Well, the huge gorilla walks over, bends the bars apart, grabs the nigger woman inside the cage, and beats the shit out of her and commences to raping her in the ass. It takes the zoo keepers 20 minutes to make the gorilla let go of her. They were spraying it with a fire hose, hitting it with sticks, finally they shot it with about 5 tranquilizers. So the one nigger woman goes to visit her friend in the hospital, and she is fucked up. Swollen eyes, missing teeth, hair all torn out, and as soon as she sees her friend she breaks out crying and sobbing. "There, there honey," says her friend, comforting her and holding her, "We are gonna get you through this and you are gonna be jus' fine, honey." "I know, I know," says the first one, "But he don't call and he don't write and he don't come visit....."
So a nigger gets a job digging telephone pole holes and at the end of the day the foreman comes by to see how many he had gotten done. "One, boss," he replied. "One! Hell everybody else can dig 15 holes a day!" "Yeah, sure, but they way they dig them, look how much of the telephone pole is still sticking out of the ground!"
A White man and a nigger are walking through the jungle when a lion jumps out to attack them. The White man throws a handful of sand in the lion's face and climbs up a tree real quick, and says to the nigger, who is still standing on the ground, "Hey, you better get your black ass up in this tree!" "Why?," said the spook, "I didn't throw sand in his face."
A house at the end of the street in a small country town catches on fire. Soon it is fully engulfed in flames and it looks like there is no hope, when all of a sudden here comes a beat up old Chevy truck with a whole family of niggers crammed into it. Must have been 20 of them. Well, they come tearing through town, honking and waving and screaming for people to get out of the way, and they drive right straight into that burning house and stomp the whole damn fire out with their bare feet. The townspeople come crowding around them and congratulate them and thank them for saving the house, and as a token of their gratitude, they give the nigger family $100. "What are you going to do with the money?" they asked. "Well," says the father of the family, "First off we is gonna fix dem f**in' brakes!"
A man is driving down the road and he sees a nigger family carrying furniture and dishes into an outhouse. He just shakes his head and keeps driving. The next day he sees them attaching a satellite dish to the roof of the outhouse. He just shakes his head and keeps driving. The next day he drives by and sees two satellite dishes on the roof, and he stops to see what the hell is going on. He says to the nigger, "OK, first I see you carrying furniture into the outhouse and I figure you were moving in. Then I see you putting a dish on the roof, and I figure if you are living in a shithouse you might as well watch T.V. But now I see two dishes on the roof. It is such a small outhouse, why do you need two satellite dishes?" The nigger replied, "Oh, we rented the basement out to Mexicans."
A hindu a jew and a nigger are all walking through the country and stop at a farmer's house to see if they could sleep there for the night. "Well," said the farmer, "All I got fer ya is the barn." The three travellers all agreed that the barn was fine, and the farmer showed them the way. A few minutes later there is a knock at the farmer's door. It was the hindu. He said, "I am very sorry, but there is a cow in the barn and it is strictly forbidden for me to sleep in the barn with a cow. Besides, it smells like shit out there." "Oh, fine, you can sleep in the damn house!" said the farmer. A few minutes later there is another knock at the door. This time it's the jew. He said, "Sir, I am jewish, and you expect me to sleep in the same barn as a pig? A dirty, disgusting, filthy swine? Besides, it smells like shit out there." "Fine, fine, you can sleep in the damn house, just stop bitching!" A few minutes later there is another knock at the door. "I swear to god if it's that damn nigger I am going to whip his ass, because I'll be damned if I let him sleep in my house!" The farmer opened the door and it was the pig and the cow.
Two niggers walking down the street see a sign that says, "Turn White for $15." The two groids turn their pockets inside out only to discover that one has a 20 dollar bill and the other one has a 10 dollar bill. Since neither one of them has exactly $15, they can't figure out how they can both get turned White.....Finally one of them has a stroke of genius. "You take $20 and go in there and get turned White, then when you come out you can give me your $5 change and then I will have $15 and I can get turned white, too!" "Bet, dog," says the other bootlip, and he goes inside. 10 minutes later, you wouldn't believe it. That nigger was blond haired, blue eyed, and even had on a suit and a tie. The first nigger says, "Man, holy shit, I can't believe it, you are really White! Hurry up and give me that $5 so I can do it too!" "fuck you, nigger, get a job!"
A first grade teacher wanted to help her students learn black history so one Thursday, she told them that she would read them some famous quotes and whoever could guess who said it could stay home from school the next day. The first one she read was, "By any means necessary." Hands shot up. "Yes, Leroy, can you tell me who said that?" "Malcom X." "That's right," said the teacher, "You may go home now, and you don't have to come to class tomorrow." The next one was, "I have a dream." Again, dozens of little black hands went up. "Yes, Shaquita, do you know who said that?" "Martin Luther King, Jr." "Why yes, that's right, you can go home early and skip school tomorrow also." From the back of the classroom came a disgusted voice, "You goddamn niggers make me f***ng sick." The teacher ran to the back of the room and screamed, "Who said that!?" The little White boy jumped out of his chair and headed for the door, saying on his way out, "David Duke. See ya Monday, bitch!"
The F.B.I. sends an agent to South Africa to learn how the police there stop riots. The South African Police General takes him to a township disturbance where the police fire tear gas grenades at the niger mob. The mob runs away a few blocks, regroups, and comes rushing back at the police. Then the cops open up on them with powerful fire hoses, sending the rioters spinning down the street like soccer balls. They regroup and come charging back again, only to be met with squads of German Shepherd attack dogs. They bite those niggers so full of holes that they run like hell and don't come back. "Very impressive," says the F.B.I. agent, "But let me ask you; since the dogs were so effective, why not just use them first?" "Ah, you don't understand," said the Police general, "The niggers down here smell so bad, first we have to fumigate them and rinse them off before our dogs will touch them."
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lorddragonfire201
Member
Joined: 09 May 2010
Posts: 16
Location: Lodi, NJ
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| Posted: Tue May 11, 2010 11:12 pm Post subject: |
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Lmao
Got my new jokes for the bar lol
_________________
When A Nigger Doesn't Succeed, It Makes The White Man Stronger! |
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Jason88
Member
Joined: 09 Jun 2010
Posts: 4
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| Posted: Wed Jun 09, 2010 5:22 pm Post subject: joke |
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| How do you stop a nigger from going out??? Pour more gas on him.. |
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Xuxalina Rihhia
Elite Super Mod
Joined: 02 Jul 2005
Posts: 4166
Location: Jewnited $nake$ of Ameriqaeda
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| Posted: Fri Jun 11, 2010 2:51 am Post subject: |
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How do Vandal Niggers put on their underwear?
Yellow in front and brown in back.
Why do niggers have slanted eyes?
Put your palms to your temples, pull back and shout "Oh noes! Not mo' cotton pickin' t'day!"
Why do sharks wait a while before attacking a coon in the water?
Come on! Sharks may not be picky about what they hunt and eat, but even they can't stomach a stinky jig!
One day, a man and his five year old son went to a supermarket. The boy wandered off from his dad for a bit but then ran back to him, frightened. The boy said, "Dad! I saw giant walking poop walking around in the store. It smelled just like poop!
The father looked around, grinned and said: "Son, that's just a nigger. They sure look and smell like walking poop, don't they?" he said, sniggering.
_________________
4 WORDS!!!
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http://img126.echo.cx/img126/4719/war010xuxa2mf.jpg
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